Calculus

Male with displaced femur fracture.

Triage Nurse:  "Sir, what number would you rate your pain on a scale of zero to ten?"
Patient:            "One"
Patient's Wife:  "One?  Is that all?"
Patient:          "That's the worst one, isn't it?"
Patient's Wife:  "No!  Ten's the worst one."
Triage Nurse:   "A zero to ten scale."
Patient:             "Oh!  Ten!"