Monday, June 4, 2012

...and I quote

Possibly the best part of my job (if there is a best part) is the pre-triage form.  When patients come to the ER, they fill out a form indicating their chief complaint which is then submitted to admissions and, subsequently, given to the triage nurse.  These are some which have caught my eye (the quotation marks are mine, otherwise these are completely unedited regarding spelling, grammar, punctuation, sentence structure and capitalization):


"He has had a high Fever of 102.6 for the past 24hours coughin an cumplanin of his tummy heartin."

"High Fever, votmonting, sorl thoroght runy nosie"

"Colon burn Stomach hurts qallbladder"

"Right Lover Pain"

"Been Bound up in Gut For About A week"

"Fell on cement + with fist at heart area needs to find out if anything is badwrong"

"Face is Busted it woozy Need stitchly"

"Sour throught.  Ears hurts   runny noses."

"I have a shoulder that is on my right arm + down my arm + I have tingling in my Finger + it feels num"

"Herniated dick"  (submitted by a female patient)

"I was diajnosed a year ago.In leavenworth KS My lungs hurt thats it I'm weezing!"

"Sunday yall said Go Sleep it off it Just a head ach made appomint to day she Been having headach nosia weak all this time No Legs are weak she has a concusion Dr SAID!!"


"My left foot is strained?"

"IM diying Bealse my arem is roting off."  

"Cant really talk because half of mouth is swallowen abcest tooth, throat swalloen andchest pain"


 I particularly like the ones with the exclamation points!!!